Attack of the Clowns
by Kyarorain
Summary: The Adepts unexpectedly have to go on another quest when the Valeans are trapped in a blob of snot. Along the way, they meet rather terrifying clowns.


**Attack of the Clowns**

* * *

Random hyperness is great. It should come as a canned product and we would all buy it in droves. I know I'd always carry a can of it around for good use.  
Sheba: Or drink caffeine!  
Except you would not get addicted to random hyperness. It would not get angry if you stopped drinking it for a while and give you headaches.  
Sheba: Uh, okay. Camelot owns Golden Sun!  
And I put this up before, but I took it down and revised it... there are even more clowns now! Hurray! Well, more than one...

* * *

"Woe is me!" Alex wailed, as Mt. Aleph sank towards the ground. "I just got my butt kicked by a rock and now I'm going to die!" 

"O RLY?" A snowy white owl flying overhead hooted.

"YA RLY!" Alex screamed. "HELP!"

However, the owl just laughed at him and disappeared to whatever wacky dimension it had the nerve to pop out of in the first place.

Mercifully, in what seemed like Alex's darkest hour, a weird apparition appeared on top of Mt. Aleph and loomed over him. He saw the pale skin, the taut red lips, the glinting dark eyes and he tried to scream, but then he lost consciousness. He was unaware of being somehow carried off the mountaintop, of being laid to rest in some random field, of his power being drawn from him.

"Hehehe!" The sinister being cackled, as he stole Alex's power from him. "So this is part of Alchemy. Excellent." He drummed his fingers together and grinned evilly.

Alex awoke for a second, his eyes opening a crack, and as he turned his head, he swore he could see an evil clown skipping away and rapping. Then Alex assumed he was merely having a hallucination and fell back to sleep.

* * *

Today was Conga Line Day. Whoever thought this up, nobody had any idea, but the Valeans liked to pick people to dance around in a Conga Line around the plaza all morning. Except Vale was really nothing more than a load of rubble right now. 

It was quite simple.

They would walk all the way to Vale and watch the Adepts dance the Conga Line on the rubble.

So, that was why all the Valeans were standing in front of the rubble on that fine morning and the Mayor of Vale was walking around with an evil look on his face as he picked out certain people to dance the Conga Line.

"Garet, you join in."

"But I did it last year!"

"You're doing it this year too! Isaac!"

"But I…"

"No buts! I don't care if you did it last year! Jenna! I know you did it last year too, but you're good at the Conga Line."

"Oh, fine," Jenna said sulkily, glowering at the Mayor's back.

"Felix!"

"But I did it four years ago!" Felix protested. He winced as several people turned to glare at him. "Heh heh, just kidding! I'm fine with it. Really."

"Such argumentative children," The Mayor sighed. "We'll include your four friends too. Let's see… Poncho guy…"

"My name's Piers."

"The girl with the weird salad bowl hair."

"It's Sheba!"

"And… Mia and Ivan, isn't it?"

"Yeah…"

"Excellent." The mayor clapped his hands together. "People, we have our Conga Line Dancers!"

The Valeans cheered. Well, except for Felix, Isaac, Jenna and Garet, who were now frantically wondering if they could get out of it. Until they remembered no Valean had ever managed to get out of it in the entire history of Vale.

"Grandfather, are you sure Garet should be in the Conga Line?" Kay asked. "Every time he does it, he looks more like a demented rhinoceros that just wants to stomp around for the hell of it."

"Remember that time he fell over and everyone behind him fell on top?" Aaron chuckled. "That was so funny!"

"And that is why he is going to be at the BACK." Isaac glared at Garet. He still remembered that day. In fact, he had been right in front of Garet. Having a pile of people on top of him was not particularly enjoyable. Isaac's gaze moved away to his parents, who were now talking to each other about their first Conga Line Dance when they were children. Holy crap, how long had this Conga Line Dance been going on for?

Ten minutes later, the eight heroes were balanced precariously on the rubble of Vale, while Valeans cheered them on. This was quite clearly dangerous, but did they even care? No! They just wanted to get their own back on them or something!

"Do you think we're being punished for lighting the lighthouses?" Isaac muttered out the corner of his mouth.

"I wouldn't put it past them," Jenna whispered. "You know how crazy they are."

"Why do I got to be at the front?" Felix complained. "I can't even remember how to do this stupid thing!"

"You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in and you shake it all about!" Mia sang.

"That's not how you do a Conga Line," Piers protested.

"Are you arguing with me?" Mia asked serenely, looking over her shoulder with a very calm gaze. In fact, it was too calm.

"Eep!" Piers gulped.

"You have to do three shuffle steps then some sort of weird kick, right?" Sheba asked.

"Yeah. It's a really lame dance." Garet chuckled miserably.

"Could be worse. They could make you dance the Macarena," Ivan said.

A collective shudder passed through the line.

The Adepts looked nervously towards the group of Valeans, where someone was already holding up a drum and preparing to beat on it with drumsticks. Then the drumsticks fell and they started dancing, some of them letting out a small groan as they did so.

The poor, unfortunate Adepts were so preoccupied with the bad Conga Line dancing that they did not see the giant green lump bouncing up over the horizon.

However, Kraden did.

"Look!" Kraden yelled. "It appears to be a green jelly!"

The crowd turned to look at the jelly in astonishment. Isaac, Garet, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Piers, Mia and Ivan watched in amazement as the giant green goopy thing rolled up and then landed with a messy wet splat on the crowd, trapping them all in its translucent walls.

"Um." Ivan blinked as the crowd started anxiously scrabbling at the walls. "It seems like they can't get out."

"But what is it?" Sheba wondered.

"Is it jelly?" Garet walked up and poked the strange, slimy substance. He managed to pull off a piece and tasted it. "Hey, it's snot!"

"Yes, everybody, you all know the terrible truth." Jenna grinned at her disgusted companions. "Garet eats his boogers."

"And you're dating that freak?" Felix gave her an exasperated look.

"Hey, I learned to put up with his eccentricities." Jenna shrugged.

"We have to help them!" Mia said.

"But how?" Isaac wondered out loud. "We can't risk striking it with Psynergy." He pulled out his sword and slashed at the giant snot. It made a smooth cut in the surface. Isaac pulled the sword away and watched in horror as the cut closed up.

"Someone's got to be behind this," Piers said. "We need to find them."

"Okay, let's start." Felix started walking. "Let's walk in a random direction. Walking in random directions is fun."

So the Adepts walked in a random direction, leaving the Valeans trapped in a giant booger.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Garet asked. "I'm hungry." 

"How long have we been walking?" Ivan asked.

"We passed Vault ages ago." Sheba sagged. "And I think we just passed Kalay."

"This is taking too long," Jenna groaned.

"If only we knew where we were going," Mia sighed.

"Well, we don't." Piers wiped sweat off his brow.

"I don't think walking in a random direction is fun anymore," Felix complained, utter misery etched on his face.

"It was your idea!" Isaac snapped in annoyance.

"Well, I didn't hear you suggesting otherwise," Felix shot back.

"Don't start arguing otherwise you will both feel PAIN," Jenna growled. The two Venus Adepts shivered in fright and closed their mouths. Jenna's idea of pain was certainly painful for sure.

There was a bright, shiny flash.

The Adepts looked up in surprise as a giant female clown dressed in pink appeared, her blonde curls cascading down to the back of her knees. Her baby blue eyes sparkled and she grinned, dimples appearing in her cheeks. Transparent polka-dotted wings sprouted from her back.

"Greetings!" The female clown shouted, causing some of the Adepts to clap their hands over their ears. "I am the divine clown, Fartaloo!"

"Fartaloo?" Sheba giggled. "You're serious?"

"Shut up!" Fartaloo cried petulantly. "Do not make fun of my name!" Her transparent wings drummed faster and sparkles rained from the tips as she hovered towards the Adepts.

"What do you want?" Piers asked.

"I want… you!" Fartaloo declared, pointing at Isaac.

Isaac blinked in confusion. He wasn't used to pink-clad winged blonde clowns saying they wanted him. Thus, he was caught off guard when Fartaloo flew toward him, wrenched him off his feet and carried him away. Isaac gasped and flailed desperately. "**_HELP!_**"

"**_ISAAAAAAAC!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!"_** Mia screamed. The remaining Adepts turned to look as Mia fell into a sobbing heap. Ivan considered stepping forwards to comfort her. He immediately changed his mind when Mia leaped back to her feet, her eyes glowing with fury. Mia uttered a soft growl and clutched her mace, the knuckles on her hands turning white.

"Um, Mia…" Jenna said hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"She looks homicidal," Sheba whimpered.

"**FARTALOO!"** Mia thundered.

And then Mia was gone, stampeding over the land with the force of fifty thousand angry rhinoceroses. All that remained of her was a giant dust cloud streaming away into the distance. The Adepts looked at the dust cloud, several of them with their jaws on the ground.

Mia was so furious, she didn't even notice that she had somehow managed to get all the way from Kalay to near the Suhalla Desert in no time at all and she wasn't even tired yet. Fortunately, it seemed that Fartaloo's castle was right outside the desert. It was disgustingly sparkly and pink and she could hear Isaac's cries for help coming from it.

"I'm coming, Isaac!" Mia screamed, running up to the giant pink door and pushing it open. An evil teddy bear leaped from the ceiling and danced a pirouette, before advancing on her with a machete. Mia grimly prepared to do battle. She didn't care how many evil machete wielding teddy bears she was going to have to fight, her precious Isaac needed saving!

* * *

Despite Isaac and Mia's absence, the Adepts had to keep on going wherever it was they were going. They were walking along the side of the Karagol Sea now. Someone had actually got off their lazy butt and managed to clear Silk Road. Several people had fainted in astonishment when this happened. 

So, they were having an uneventful walk by the Kraken-infested sea, when something happened yet again. They were going to get tired of things happening very soon, they just didn't realize it yet.

"OMG!" A teenage girl with thick glasses and zits suddenly appeared in front of the Adepts. Her teeth were adorned with giant oversized braces and she wore a clown outfit. The clown outfit was garishly bright and clashing, with many spots. Her face was plastered with white make-up. However, the make-up did nothing whatsoever for her zits, it did not even hide them. "Like, how awesome, it's, like, Felix and Piers! Squeeeeee!"

"Uh, who is this crazy chick?" Garet asked.

"I think the Fashion Police's looking for someone right now," Jenna said.

"How do you know us?" Felix asked.

"OMG! Felix spoke to meeeeeee!" The girl squealed, jumping up and down in excitement. Her giant red wig bounced up and down as she danced around.

"Please, leave us alone, we're trying to save people," Piers said as politely as he possibly could.

"What?" The weird girl gasped. In an instant, her eyes glowed red and she leaped into the air, pulsing with a strange aura. "By the power of fangirl clowns, I shall claim you both!" A gigantic net suddenly appeared out of her hands and wrapped around Felix and Piers. They let out terrified yells as she floated into the air and zoomed away. "I shall hold you hostage in my castle conveniently near Tolbi, OMG! SQUEE!!!"

Jenna and Sheba started walking towards Tolbi with demonic looks on their faces. In the process, they also left Garet and Ivan utterly alone together.

"Want to go and do something else?" Ivan asked. "I've got the Teleport Lapis."

"Sure!" Garet exclaimed. "Hey, let's go to Fuchin Temple and see if Nyunpa died yet!"

"You are so morbid, Garet," Ivan sighed as he raised the little cube into the air. The two vanished in a swirl of rainbowy lights that soared towards Fuchin Temple.

Jenna and Sheba reached the castle in little to no time at all and stormed the dark, creepy corridors, aiming to find Felix and Piers and rescue them as quickly as possible. However, the fangirl clown barred their way, standing in a corridor with an evil grin on her face.

"Give them back!" Jenna demanded.

"Yeah, or else we'll hurt you badly!" Sheba growled.

"Uh, no," The fangirl paused to squeeze a zit on her chin. "Instead, I will do… THIS!"

Jenna and Sheba threw up their arms in defense as the fangirl pulled out a spray can from behind her back. She aimed and squirted, and the gunk in the can flew all over Sheba and Jenna. The can just so happened to be labeled 'FANGIRL SPRAY' and it caused something weird to happen to Jenna and Sheba.

"OMG! PIERS!" Jenna squealed.

"FELIX! SQUEE!" Sheba screamed.

The fangirl turned around to watch Jenna and Sheba run off towards the boys' cell using their brand new fangirl homing radar. The clown laughed evilly as she followed them, feeling very smug that her fangirl spray indeed worked. Why, she could use it to turn everyone in the world into fangirls! That was, provided they were female. The clown had not tried it on males yet.

Felix and Piers were currently sitting in the cell, tied to the wall with chains, and lamenting their dire situation. Apparently, neither of them knew what they were supposed to do when tied with chains.

"At least you didn't have chains in jail," Felix sighed.

"But I had bars." Piers glanced at the open cell door. "I reckon she left that door open to taunt us."

"If only we could get out…" Felix strained against the chains that held him, but of course the chains did not give way.

Jenna and Sheba burst in through the opem doorway.

For a moment, Felix and Piers thought they were going to be saved somehow. But as Sheba glomped onto Felix and Jenna glomped onto Piers and they both started saying "squee" and "OMG", Felix and Piers realized they were still very muchly so doomed. And an evil fangirl clown was standing at the door and pointing and laughing. That made it even worse.

* * *

"Yay! Fuchin Temple!" Garet cheered, running towards the temple high up on the hill. A bunch of monks swarmed around, looking very bored. 

Ivan glowered at Garet's back.

"You know, I feel very mean," Ivan said meanly. "I'm going to leave you here and go to Lama Temple!" He laughed evilly as he lifted the Teleport Lapis and disappeared in the swirl of rainbowy lights.

Garet walked into the temple and was surprised to see that Nyunpa was not there, but a load of sweaty, half-dressed monks were.

"Hey, where's Nyunpa?" Garet asked.

"Oh, he died a month ago," A monk waved his hand dismissively. "But I'll tell you, we've been having fun ever since Nyunpa died. We changed the H in Fuchin Temple to a K, so it's now Fuckin' Temple. As in the verb, not the adjective."

"What the hell is a verb and an adjec…thingy…" Garet found himself feeling very confused.

"Have you come to join our little group?" A monk smiled seductively at him. "We do like nice young lads. In fact, we all like lads, very much indeed."

"Wait, wait!" Garet backed away, feeling very scared by the way the monk was looking at him. "Aren't monks supposed to be… uh, what's that word? Celery? Celibate?"

"Oh, we're not really monks!" Another 'monk' threw back his head and roaring laughter boomed out of him. "We're just pretend monks! Why don't you join us and have some fun at Fuckin' Temple?"

"**NOOOOOOOO!!!"** Garet screamed in terror, turning and running faster than he had ever before. The monks cried petulantly as the frightened Mars Adept ran forever from their presence, disappearing into the Mogall Forest before he even had time to realize where he was going.

* * *

Ivan walked up to Lama Temple, wondering just what he was going to find here. The monks that used to sit out here were gone. In fact, everything seemed deserted. Ivan precariously approached the small building, perturbed to see a drawing of a llama pinned to the door, and pushed it open. He peered into the darkness, his eyes slowly adjusting. 

"BOO!"

Ivan screamed and backed out of the building as Hama walked out, cackling madly. Ivan quickly read her mind and learned the terrible truth about what had happened to his sister. Some weird clown with swirly glasses had brainwashed her!

Hama stopped cackling and looked at Ivan with an insane grin, raising her hand. It started glowing with a purple light.

"Prepare… to… be… **SMOTE!**" Hama thundered.

"Waahhhhh!" Ivan started running, barely dodging the impressive Destruct Ray spell, and Hama gave chase. Hama was so focused on smiting Ivan and Ivan was so focused on escaping Hama that neither of them noticed they had run all the way into the Lamakan Desert. It was just as hot as it had always been and the little red meter started to go up and up… and neither of them remembered to use Reveal… they began to slow down… and then…

"Oasis…" Ivan muttered thickly, using all his strength to cast Reveal on a ring of stones. However, an ant lion was now waving cheerfully from the ring of stones. "Oh crap." He fell over in a faint.

"Muahaha…" Hama staggered towards him, her vision blurring. Now all she saw was yellow and lots of yellow and even more yellow. "I… like… smiting." Then she thudded face first into the sand.

A colony of giant Salamanders suddenly appeared out of an invisible opening in the cliffs and went to pick up the siblings, carrying them into the nice, cool cave. Not that the Salamanders cared if the cave was cool, they liked the heat. Fortunately, there was a source of water in the cave, so reviving the siblings was not a difficult task.

"Ugh…" Ivan awoke first. He looked around and wondered if he was dreaming. He had every reason to. He was in some unfamiliar cave and now gigantic Salamanders were bowing to him. This was certainly not normal. He looked around and saw Hama. Ivan picked up a stick and hesitantly prodded Hama with it. "Um… sister?"

"Who, what, when, where, why, when?" Hama yelled, sitting up in fright. Ivan blinked. "Oh… giant Salamanders." She cast Mind Read. "This is interesting. It seems that the Salamanders are worshipping us as their God and Goddess."

"But why?" Ivan demanded. "I don't want to be a god!"

"Hey, I don't know crap about Salamander Psychology," Hama protested. "But, this is interesting, Ivan. We have power over the Salamanders."

"We… do?" Ivan's eyes widened. He slowly looked at the Salamanders, a grin spreading over his face. Indeed, having great power was surely a boost to his self confidence and his tiny little ego was starting to swell. "Very interesting."

"Oh yes." Hama smirked. "All this power over an entire colony of gigantic red lizards. It is a wonderful feeling indeed."

"I wonder who has more power?" Ivan mused.

"I do of course," Hama said.

"No, I should," Ivan argued. "I fought all those monsters on the journey. I saved the world."

"I helped you a lot!" Hama shouted back.

"I still fought!"

"I'm still more powerful!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm older for a start!"

"What does that prove?"

"I have more experience!"

"Well, I've traveled everywhere!"

"You were probably unconscious half the time!"

"What!"

The argument escalated to great heights, but still the Salamanders continued to act as if nothing was wrong and worshipped them fervently. They did not notice the warning signs of dancing bolts flickering around the Jupiter Adepts or see them both preparing to cast Psynergy at the same time.

"**_SPAAAAARRRRRRK PLAAAAAASMAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"_**

A joint Spark Plasma can be lethal, especially when the two Spark Plasmas collide. In fact, this particular collision blew up half the Lamakan Desert and killed every single giant Salamander. Hama and Ivan went flying through the air, screaming their heads off, and flew in separate directions. Hama landed near Kalay and Ivan landed near Xian.

* * *

Alex awoke groggily, feeling a pounding agony in his head. For a moment, it occurred to him that he had got himself wasted again. Then he remembered. Alex leaped to his feet and looked around frantically, seeing that he was in some kind of field. He recalled the evil clown. 

"Hmm, so it would seem the evil clown wasn't my imagination," Alex mused. "Hey, wait, I'm not on Mt. Aleph anymore. I'm alive! Yay!"

A nearby Squirrelfang scurried over a tree branch, his friends not far behind. Alex heard the rustling and turned around, noticing that he was surrounded by trees. There were Squirrelfangs in every tree, all of them looking ominously at him, their fangs gleaming brightly.

"I'm not scared of you!" Alex shouted. "Get bent, you stupid Squirrelfangs!"

Big mistake. The Squirrelfangs leaped from the trees, releasing their war cries, and Alex screamed as they swarmed over him, sinking their fangs furiously into his flesh. Alex's screams died down eventually and the Squirrelfangs ran away, leaving a lone bright blue Squirrelfang blinking in confusion.

"Meep," Alex the Squirrelfang started running. Unfortunately, he didn't know going towards Xian was a bad idea. Not that he knew he was going towards Xian. It was a bad idea because a very confused Wind Adept grabbed him and squeezed him tight, making him squeal.

"Oh, how cute!" Ivan said gleefully, evidently having suffered a knock to the head or two. "I've always wanted a little blue Momonga for a pet!"

Far away, Squirrelfangs plotted to get Ivan next.

And Alex quailed in fear at the idea of being the midget's pet.

* * *

"Yes! I'm alive!" Garet cried in joy as he burst out of the Mogall Forest. He still had plenty of adrenalin so he managed to reach Xian in little to no time, where he found Ivan grinning and hugging a Squirrelfang. 

"Oh, HI, Garet!" Ivan grinned. "Guess what? I've got a brand new pet! I'm going to name him Alex, because he's blue like Alex's hair, and I think it's male so I can't name it Mia and I think it would get teased if its name was Piers, oh, and Picard makes it sound like some old bald guy and it's not right for such a cute, adorable little monster! Say hello to Garet, Alex!"

"Ivan?" Garet frowned. "Have you been snorting something?"

"Snort? You mean like a pig?" Ivan's smile widened. "Oh, did you know that pigs actually eat people so you should never sleep in a pig sty full of hungry pigs. I heard that pigs can't look up. I wonder what colour pigs think the sky is, because they can't see it, can they? Or maybe they can see the horizon, so they would already know the sky is blue, I suppose. Do you know why the sky is blue, Garet? I do! I'm so clever, aren't I?"

"Ivan," Garet interrupted in annoyance. "We've got to do something about the Mogall Forest. It's infested with evil giant albino chimpanzees! They even chased me all over the place!"

"Ok, let's go blow them up then!" Ivan exclaimed, skipping off towards the Mogall Forest, still clutching the flailing Alex. Garet stared at Ivan, shook his head and followed, wondering what was wrong with him.

The Albino Chimpanzees were very mad now. Some spiky haired idiot and a short boy with a lame blue squirrel monster were now trying to kill them. So they got together in large numbers and kicked their butts, throwing the poor unfortunate Adepts into a fortress that had never been discovered before. However, Alex got away much to his own relief.

This undiscovered fortress was known by the Chimpanzees as the Fortress of Goodness and Love, where evil never prevailed, and it was also home to talking sheep. The Chimpanzees laughed maniacally and left the fortress alone, not noticing Garet and Ivan come out later with armfuls of woolly jackets which they quickly discarded into a river before leaving the Mogall Forest.

* * *

Mia had managed to fight her way past the evil Teddy Bears and was now having a fight to the death with Fartaloo, while Isaac watched from his vantage point tied to a pole with a generous helping of rope. 

"You can do it, Mia!" Isaac shouted as Mia lunged at the evil clown with her mace. However, Mia had not managed to land a single blow on Fartaloo and she was very much aware of it, as the veins popping on her head indicated.

"Hah hah!" Fartaloo laughed, before letting rip with a loud fart.

Mia felt dizzy. She had a feeling that if Fartaloo did that just a few more times, Isaac was definitely not going to get saved any time soon and certainly not by Mia. What was she supposed to do? The insane female clown was too fast to be hit by a weapon and apparently had the power to knock people out by farting too much! Mia's poor nostrils helpfully reminded her of this nasty fact.

Suddenly, Mia had an idea. She reached into a dress pocket where she found a load of chestnuts. For some reason, Mia had held onto them in the hope she would learn to win a conker fight someday.

"Take this!" Mia yelled, flinging a hail of chestnuts at Fartaloo.

Isaac gaped. Had Mia finally lost it?

"_Nooooo!_" Fartaloo screamed, as the chestnuts knocked her to the floor. Her face began to swell. "_I'm allergic… _to… chest…n…"

Then the clown exploded in a shower of sparkles. Blood and guts are overrated and messy. Mia untied Isaac and they quickly ran out of the terrifying castle. They decided to go to Tolbi for some random reason, but were distracted by the fangirl's castle behind it and went there instead, meeting up with Garet and Ivan on the way. And so, the Adepts went into the fangirl's castle, unaware of the horrors they would experience.

If Sheba fangirling Felix and Jenna fangirling Piers can be called horror.

The fangirl clown stood at the cell door, still laughing evilly as the girls glomped the guys and squee'ed a lot.

"You!" Garet shouted.

"Actually, my name is Marisu," The fangirl turned around and snorted contemptuously. "OMG! Felix is so HAWT and Piers is THE SEXXORS! EEEEEE!!!"

"I dunno," Isaac said scathingly. "Felix looks all weird with that stringy, muddy hair," The fangirl gasped and went pale. "And honestly he's thin as a weed. And Piers? Please, those muscles make him look like he's a descendant of the Hulk! Plus, those eyes are just creepy! Yellow? What were they thinking? And his hair is the colour of some dirty tank that's never cleaned."

"**NOOOOOOO!!!**" The fangirl clown wailed, dissolving into dust.

"Isaac." Mia turned to Isaac with a very calm smile. "Piers's hair colour is the same as mine."

"Oh crap." Isaac gulped.

"Hey, Jenna and Sheba are acting strange." Ivan pointed to where Jenna was hugging Piers so tightly he was going blue and Sheba was bouncing on top of Felix and saying 'squee' too much.

"I'll put a stop to that!" Mia snarled, energized by her fury towards Isaac. She whipped a paper fan out of nowhere and ran towards Sheba and Jenna with a mighty yell. With all her might, she hit them on the heads with the paper fan.

"Huh?" Sheba stopped bouncing. "What's happening?"

"Piers?" Jenna stared at the Lemurian who was gasping for breath.

"They are back to normal!" Garet said.

"Thank goodness," Felix sighed. "SOMEONE GET THESE CHAINS OFF!"

In the end, they managed to get the chains off and the happily reunited Adepts set off back to Vale, completely forgetting that the Valeans were trapped in a giant booger and that they were supposed to be doing something about it.

* * *

Unfortunately for the Adepts, something happened to stop them getting much further than Kalay and that was the clown who had stolen Alchemy off Alex! 

"Bwahahahahaha!" The clown laughed menacingly, marching towards the frightened Adepts. None of them liked clowns. Clowns were horrible and scary and needed to be destroyed. And they had already dealt with too many clowns today.

"Wh-what do you want?" Isaac screamed.

"I have got part of Alchemy!" The clown boomed, laughing as he did so. "And I want the rest!"

"But… how?" Piers said. "Alchemy?"

"I shall turn you all **insane!**" The clown declared, raising his hands. At once, giant multicolored spirals of light came out his palms and surged over the Adepts. Some of them gasped, some of them started seeing things, and they all began to slowly turn insane thanks to the power of the clown's brainwashing rays.

Suddenly, the Adepts burst into song.

"_Don't you know this is a song that never ends,_

_Where the song goes, really, that depends,_

_I before E except after C or when it sounds like a as in neighbour or in weigh,_

_If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands and shout YAY!_

_I love you, you love me, we're a happy family,_

_We've got a lovely bunch of coconuts sitting in a row, deedle deedle dee!_

_It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all,_

_Ninety-nine green bottles of beer standing on the wall!_

_The sun will come out tomorrow! So you gotta hang on until tomorrow!_

_This is the song that goes on and on!_

_We're gonna make it very long, long, long!_

_So buckle up and enjoy the very long ride!_

_Won't you eat a bit of popcorn on the side?_

_S is for the way you're screaming!_

_U is for the way you're ululating!_

_C is for the way you're crying!_

_K is for the way you're kneeling!_

_E is for the way you're exploding!_

_R is for the way we… REPELLED!"_

The clown finished exploding, just as the song came to an end, and the Adepts sighed in relief.

"That was strange." Isaac blinked in confusion. "Anybody know what just happened?"

"I think we sang a song," Felix guessed.

"Anybody write down the lyrics?" Jenna asked.

"Nope." Garet shook his head.

"Oh well." Mia shrugged. "Let's just continue to Vale."

"I am in total agreement," Sheba said.

"That clown was the scariest thing ever," Ivan whimpered, his face pale.

"No kidding," Piers said.

Suddenly, a rabid Squirrelfang attacked, but the Adepts kicked its butt in seconds. It poofed back into human Alex, who cried and ran away. The Adepts merely looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and continued on to Vale where they found that the Giant Booger was gone and the Valeans had been waiting for them to return.

Unfortunately, that meant they had to get back to Conga Line Dancing.


End file.
